Perspective

Day 9 of 31

I was feeling uninspired today, that old self doubt beginning to slither its way back. Like a runny nosed virus, blocking your minds reasoning and obscuring it with fear. What is this all about? Why did I start this journey in the first place? Baring my thoughts to everybody and nobody. 
A reconnection perhaps to what is real. 
I have committed now, I cannot give up. I hate giving up. I am a barnacle to a large humpback whale riding the Indian Ocean currents north. I am observing this underwater life to reconnect with my childhood. Children are free, if only we could be. 
Perspective a necessary view to continue. 

I dropped my sensitive boy to daycare today, he was his usual apprehensive self, grasping tightly to his mothers invisible skirt, her heart breaking a tiny bit. I gave him one last cuddle and a gentle kiss on the lips. My heart was aching for him but I assured him with a smile he would have a good day. I watched him through the window, sitting at the back against the wall, his cheeky friend placing something in his hand and creating a beautiful smile, the cracks begin to mend. Visions of those boys in school uniform, two boys trying to find their own way in this mad mad world.

I drove to the beach, gurgling baby in the back chewing on a giraffe. I was once again looking for my inspiration. A rainy day, in perspective nothing like the rainy days in Ireland where you would rather not take your slippers off and dare venture out that door. This rain was warm. There it was, my inspiration waiting for me, out at sea, a clearing in the grey clouds. That sound, that amazing healing sound, those waves, today gently crashing against the shore. 
A calm Indian Ocean despite the rain, perfectly peeling waves carrying with them hope.
Day 9 of the Indian Ocean still looking for my perspective, will I find it …………………..?

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