Cranky Me

Does having more than one child make you a more cranky mother?
As my tiredness grows like that fungus, spreading over the stale bread hidden in the back of my pantry. 
I find my patience running thin. I am beginning to raise my voice more, as I become irritated by a baby wanting to be held and a boys constant demands. 
This boy,  he does not stop talking,  from “son up to son down”. 

I do not remember feeling like this before. Always having the time and strength to tend to his every need. Now it depends on the time of day and whether I have a koala cub clinging tightly to my hip digging his sharp nails (that I keep forgetting to cut) into my neck.  
Is this what he will remember of me? A cranky, impatient mother not listening to him. Shouting at him to hurry up, as he tries with all his three year old might to become more independent. 

Sometimes I am so tired, all I ask for is five minutes of silence. He is unable, this child so full of life.  His active mind, always alert, never missing a single beat. With so much to say and such a great desire to learn. He grabs hold of each day with incredible strength and determination, to be the envy of any accomplished mountain climber. He has no time for a nap, he has no time for rest.

I was able to sneak away for an hour or so on Sunday to recover and recharge. If only to the spare room. 
A room with a glorious peaceful and calm feel. Old fashioned sash windows and outside a frangipani tree watching over me. A room with no mess, no clutter, white walls, a wrought iron bed, a dreamy Salvador Dali painting and an empty wardrobe. I could still smell the earthy patchouli scent left behind by my mother, from when she last jetted across the world to help us with life. 
Why are spare rooms always so relaxing? 
A place where you can doze, dream those dreams that cause you to sink deeply, down beyond the mattress springs. Sweet slumber falls for what feel’s like five hours however it may have only been five minutes.
You awake, feeling refreshed, recharged. Fit to fight another tantrum and reassure a teething baby.
That is all it takes. 
If only I could do this every day. 

This Thankful Thursday. 

I am grateful for those short but sweet slumbers, that allow my mind to recover in fragmented dreams trying to make sense of it all, while my weary body recharges on the soft pillow and supporting mattress.


I am thankful for these power naps that allow me to return to that loving mum I know I am, and the patient mum my scrumptious boys deserve. 

13 thoughts on “Cranky Me

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  1. Oh a spare room! That is where my thanks would be right there. Sadly the shoebox has no spare room, in any sense. 😉

    Thanks you for joining in again this week, sleep is such a great thing to be thankful for. Sending some fairy wishes and butterfly kisses your way for a truly lovely kind of day x

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  2. I have a talker too, he is 4 and a half and does not stop all day. It is so tiring some days I know exactly where you are coming from!!

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  3. It's very hard that patience thing, especially as the children multiply! It's the lack of sleep that also makes it harder – so please don't feel guilty about being a little snappy at times, they won't remember it and that you are aware of it speaks volumes. Today I'm on 1/4 power after 4 hours of broken sleep and 2 year and 3.5 year boys – WHO JUST WON'T STOP 🙂 You're doing a great job x

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  4. I hate being that mother too. A bit of quiet time and “me time” helps me but sometimes it can be a challenge to be patient – I think we have all been there, Sarah x

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  5. Thanks Emily, you know you said today don't ask you for parenting advice? Well i think you just gave the best I have had in a while you made me feel better, as does this blogging business gives you really good perspective on yourself and life, Hope you get some good sleep tonight! Thank you for stopping by! x

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  6. Sarah, you and I are in such similar places right now. I too am presently mothering a baby and a toddler. So I can really relate to all these little things you've jotted down here. It's really good that you have at least one room to use as your little sanctuary to escape and recharge. Even the toilet is no longer a private place with a baby koala and chatty monkey in tow!

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  7. No matter how cranky or tired you feel, you will always be a loving mother and that is what the scrumptious boys will remember – just like the scent in the spare room, they will remember the scents and sense of you.

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