It is very early morning, the sunlight tries its best to shine though my dark blind, a crack of light can be seen where the blind meets the sill. I wish this blind could stretch further so that my night would last longer. My eyes sting from tiredness, my head kept me awake most of the night.
A persistent little voice is calling out now, maybe if I stay quiet he will go back to sleep. Calling out for “Muuuuummmy”, he is getting louder and louder. No, I do not think I will get away with it. Today is their day, I must put pull my happy face out of the wardrobe and grab my red dancing shoes from the box, ready for the adventure.
The same old crackling record is playing in the background as we eat our wheet-bix with milk and honey. “I am so tired”, “I am so tired” go the lyrics over and over. My eyes sting like I have been swimming in chorline with no goggles, diving down to the bottom of the pool with my eyes too wide open. “Come on Mummy lets go”…………
We lounge around on the living room floor he talks incessantly, baby lights up my heart with his beaming smile and gurgles. Perhaps the beginning of some vowels as he finds his own unique voice in this loud world. I decide to put some music on. My mood begins to change. We bop to this and twirl around to that. I begin to feel more energised. I love how music can do this to you. Find the right tune and it is hard to deny the beat. He implores me to put his brother down, he repeats “he wants to play Mummy”, “he wants to sit on the floor Mummy”. I place the chubby joey down on his divinely soft sheepskin rug with some drums so he can learn the beat.
I look down to see a little cury red head at my waist, his pleading eyes an unusual grey colour framed by beautiful long red eyelashes, his milky white arms stretched up, he is begging me to pick him up and twirl him around. I am so tired and he is getting so heavy this growing boy. I tell him I cannot lift him, I am just too tired, I would drop his precious self.
He does not understand, all he wants is for me to love him and dance with him. I stop listening to my head and pick him up with me heart. I hold him, his arms around my neck his legs around my waist, we spin around, he lets his head flop out into the vortex, he is grinning from ear to ear, he screeches with delight. I have a smile on my face, this is what it is all about, allowing him to show me the way, the way to freedom, unconditional love and living in the moment.
It is time for the joeys nap. We play outside, my little sergeant major, personal trainer and I. He is on his shiny red bicycle, it sparkles in the morning sunlight. Our favourite tree, the frangipani, casts its glorious shadow on the concrete, like a temporary tattoo to remember a special someone.
He still wears that happy smile. I am chasing behind him on his blue scooter, he finds this so entertaining to watch.
I want to take a rest, he will not let me , he bossily shouts at me to keep scooting. Around and around we go, faster and faster. I am afraid the plastic will snap where my foot rests on the scooter, he does not care, he just wants to be free.