I am a private person.
I do not like people knowing my business.
Yet here I am blogging my heart out to the world.
This writing bug has really got a tight hold on me.
As you delve deeper into your bag of blogging posts you cannot help but reveal the truth.
You begin to uncover parts of yourself that only a best friend would know. This seems to me to be the normal blogging process. I believe it is evolutionary necessary to gather some of those private words rattling about in your mind. Gather the fragments, slot them in together to reveal a beautiful yet powerful puzzle we can all benefit from seeing.
You reach a point as your blogging venture continues where you feel liberated and start to not really care what people think. It is about connecting to one another, it is about breaking down the barriers between strangers and opening up as best friends would.
Best friends can guide you on your journey. They can make you laugh until sides are spilt, and they can bring you to tears through their generosity or honesty which ever it was, that their friend needed at the time.
You may or may not have noticed I have taken a slight step back from blogging and all that goes with it.
I have been struggling a little with this thing called life.
I have been finding it hard to maintain the balance.
I have been struggling to stay on top of the simplest tasks.
I have debated and debated whether to write the truth.
However I have realised the truth is nothing to be ashamed of. The truth is what we need to hear more of.
Therefore I have decided to come out from beneath the fog and reveal what my best friends already know.
I have Post Natal Depression.
It is mild and I am fine. I do not wish to write about it yet. I am still trying to understand this complex mental illness. However I hope at some point I can write about it. I hope that I can gain perspective and reveal my PND story. I think it is so important to talk about it, to write about it. Speaking the truth and writing about my experience will be as much for others as it will be for myself. We need to hear the stories of others so that we can perhaps identify similarities in our own lives. I had no idea I was suffering from Post Natal Depression until a very observant and caring GP broke the news to me. This male doctor is actually my boys doctor and not mine.
In blogging we learn so much about ourselves. This has to be such a powerful thing right?
Power for our future and the future of our precious children.
On Tuesday I blogged about a wildlife warrior. I believed I was simply pondering what would compel someone to give up their personal life and dedicate everything to fight a cause such as animal cruelty. However it was the lovely bloggers out there that acted like my best friends.
They could see through my negativity and instead showed me the truth. That I am in fact a warrior on my very own frontline.
This Thankful Thursday I am thankful for blogging and for the lovely bloggers I have encountered on this journey for changing my perspective.
I am trying to take a step back from blogging and nurture myself something which I have forgotten how to do. But blogging has a hold on me, although to be honest it is Facebook that is getting to me most. I find it so annoying!! In the head space I am in at the moment I am really struggling with the engagement and self-promotion that goes with maintaing a popular Facebook page. I am not a natural sales woman. So although I will still be present in the fickle world of Facebook I cannot put as much energy into it.
So with fizzing bubbles in hand, we raise our hands to hear the clink of glass. Smiles on our faces we give Cheers and Slainte to my family, friendships that we could not be without and blogging buddies. Here is to the practice of gratitude, having each other and to me finding my feet.
“Live it, feel it, breathe it. My feet will always be found at the beach.”
This is my mantra that came to me while escaping alone to my favourite place.