This Post has been on my mind for quite a while.
I just need to get it out of my head so I can move on. I am looking for words I can return to when I feel self doubt creeping in.
This post is part of a question I keep returning to.
What is my aim here in this space?
What is the point?
You can read about why I started my blog here
The blogging bug got a hold on me when I discovered all the other bloggers out there doing the same thing and the connection you can have with like minded people or people who can show you another way.
I originally wanted to call my blog “Fragments”. This word was not up for grabs, however I am now glad.
I did not really research other blog names as my blog was just going to be a personal space for me. I did not really think of anybody else reading it besides a few friends and some family. My blog has evolved to be about everyday life which I coin as the snippets and spirits of life. It is about motherhood but it is also about life, finding myself and accepting myself. I love nature. Being amongst nature helps me connect to my spirit.
I look for the beauty in every day.
They say your Blog name should give a clue as to what the blog is about, and that having to explain your name is a no no.
I think perhaps my blog name is confusing especially to someone who does not know me personally.
The lack of availability of the word Fragments brought me to the word Snippets.
The explanation of the word is pretty obvious I think. Snippets being that it is really just fragments or pieces of my life. It will never be my whole life as there are things I have to and want to keep private. It is only fair to the important people in my life.
Then I needed a word to rhyme with Snippets. I tried many word combinations until I came across spirits. It is a word that has always intrigued me.
There are a few meanings to the words spirits in regards to my life. I am not a particularly religious person. I grew up in Catholic Ireland. From a very young age I was turned off the Catholic ethos. I had a very cranky nun teaching me in the convent school I attended, she told me the devil was inside me (because I was a giggler in class), another told me I was a hussy while slapping me on the back with a hard-back book. At the age of seven a priest on my first confession scolded me for forgetting my prayers, I was so nervous my mind went blank. I was a meek and quiet child I took things to heart. That was the day I decided catholicism was no longer for me.
So getting back to the Spirits in my blog name. Firstly it simply refers to moods. The fluctuating moods we endure throughout our daily lives. Spirits also refers to the spirit or soul of a person, be they free, happy, sad or trapped. I sometimes feel like my spirit is split in two, between the green of Ireland and the brown of Australia.
Last week I came across an old notebook of mine. It was an interesting find. Inside were words I had forgotten about, they were not my words but they were words about me. Words that perhaps explained my affinity to the word “spirits”.
I had transcribed an encounter I had with a Russian psychic, she had wispy grey hair, bony hands and wolf-like piercing grey eyes. I circled a room full of similar people waiting to impart their words of wisdom upon me. I walked past her twice but I was drawn only to her and she knew it.
It was her wolf like eyes that intrigued me. This reading was about seven years ago. I was homesick and looking for direction.
She told me I was a “little girl lost in the dessert of her dreams” However there was a “wise woman stored in my heart”. I needed to “sing and dance and be one with the spirit”. “To be with my brothers and sisters when the sun goes down”. She described me a beautiful gentle spirit connected to Mother Earth. That I was honest and not afraid of anything even the dark. I have a very strong feminine mother spirit with me all the time standing behind me watching over me. I have visions in my dreams. I am spiritually connected to my father and that he will come to me in my dreams when he passes.
This intriguing Russian woman told me, I was a mountain woman and the mountains was where I needed to go. I have a wise and old inner spirit however I had not quite connected with this side of me yet. Spiritually I am connected to Buddhism and Christianity (even though it may not feel like it). She predicted I was going to have a “definitive son” whom I will be very spiritually connected to. My numerology adds up number 2 a high achiever however I was not reaching this full potential. I was getting there, I was learning to say how things are.
One of my native Indian symbols was an Eagle. Eagles are masters of the sky and carriers of prayers. They have courage and wisdom. They have a special connection with the creator and are the Sky Spirit. A symbol associated with visions and spirits.
I could write another post and perhaps I will about my dreams and the things I have seen the visions that have stayed with me for life. I did go to the mountains in the month September that she predicted and the trip helped me make peace with my new life in Australia. I have definitely learned to be braver and always speak my mind. I know this comes with age however I was an extremely shy girl most of my life but I had a strength within. Sometimes I do have a thought of entering a church and just sitting there. Spiritual I most certainly am however I feel more connected to the earth and to animals so perhaps buddhism is calling me. Yes this psychic may have told the next person the exact same things. However we take what we want from these experiences.
I have sat down to write this post with the Title being “My Blog Name”. Reading back over my words I was compelled to change the title to “it was meant to be”.