Discovering Your Essence.

Who is She??

I am currently in the consolidating maintenance phase in recovery from Post Natal Depression.

This means I have strategies in place that I know help maintain my mental health. I have reached a healthy plateau and I need to continue with what I am doing to remain where I am right now.

However with that said. I have ongoing and recognised stress at work that has the potential to drag me back down if I allow it.

This has prompted me to seek additional help in maintaining my wellness.

I have started to receive ITA Energy Medicine treatments. I am yet to understand it fully. So for now the details will be a story for another day.

During my treatment. I have been told that my essence is low. The essence of my being.

This put me on a quest to discover what this statement really meant.

Essence

What is it?

Definition

• The essence or indispensable properties that serve to characterise or identify something.
• The crucial element, the most important ingredient.
• The inherent, unchanging nature of something.

Looking back upon the definitions of essence. My understanding is that your individual essence is not your experiences.
It is not your personality. It is the essence of your being. It is how you express yourself, it is the intrinsic way in which you tell your individual story.

The filter with which determines how your experiences are felt and acted out.

In order to better understand and discover my essence an exercise I have been given is “The I am”

The ‘I Am’ qualities are what I need to cultivate. While we need a balance of positives and negatives the Yin and the Yang. It is the “I Am”  that needs to become part of your natural expression.

While at work today running an experiment in the lab I had a timer on for 10 minutes. I used this time to quickly write down my ‘I Am, I am not’ qualities which have led to this post. It is really powerful writing this up as it becomes clear in your mind.

I Am                                          I am not
Strong                                        Weak
Imaginative                                Anxious                                        
Nurturing and loving.                 Fearful
Determined                                Worried
Healthy
Grateful

So where is my essence amongst all this??

Well I am not quite sure. The essence of your being. I feel like it is something you are born with it.

I think back to the child I was. Born in the late 70’s in Ireland. Quiet and thoughtful. Sensitive to the moods around her. Sensitive to conflict and negativity. Nature loving and creative.

I would therefore describe my essence as empathetic and imaginative. Consequently if I am around conflict and negativity all the time I struggle. I have a tendancy to absorb other peoples worries as if they are my own.
If I cannot express myself in an imaginative way I feel trapped, I keep searching for an outlet. I begin to loose my identity.

I am on a journey in discovering the essence of my being.