I just need to sit down and write.
There is an uneasiness within.
I spent the whole day yesterday Christmas shopping. How trivial. Only hearing snippets of talk in shops about the horror that was unfolding in a chocolate coffee shop in Sydney. I did not really connect to those words being spoken. I failed to stop and think what these people must be experiencing. I was on a mission. Once I returned home and the boys were sound asleep it was safe to return to my car and gather all the secret gifts for Christmas Day.
As I was carrying them in through our front gate I was thinking about the magic and excitement the children will feel on Christmas morning when they awake to find that Santa has visited their house. Leaving behind him parcels of unconditional love.
Suddenly my heart stopped.
I reminded my adult self that Santa does not exist.
That it is all a big story we have created to sprinkle some much needed magic onto the realities of this sometimes cruel world.
I felt sad and disheartened as I entered our house laden down with bags.
It was then I heard the full story of the terror being experienced by those poor people. The terror that had been unfolding on a regular Tuesday morning in a ordinary cafe in the heart of Sydney’s CBD.
I heard of the bravery of some, in seizing their chance to save themselves and escape. I imagined the pure fear they must have felt in those moments just before escaping. I thought about the others left behind picturing them crouched on the floor praying, wishing, hoping for safety.
The Sydney seige is now over. However its pain will be felt for many many years to come. Two brave souls lost their lives. You cannot even imagine what they went through. It is incredibly hard to fathom that this was an ordinary day in a busy city. People entering their favourite cafe for a coffee before work. To end in such terror.
That is just it though. We can never know when our life will be taken from us. We can never predict when a loved one might not come home from work. That is disturbing and depressing and heart-breaking. It can be easy to get caught up in the how’s and why’s the analysis of such horrible events.
It sounds as if this man acted alone. He had a vendetta against the world for whatever reason that may be. He just happened to chose a reason he knew would get him the coverage he so desired. A racial attack. Such acts only serve to deepen the divide.
However Sydney has stood strong. People are now stepping out and supporting everyone regardless of race and colour. This is where we can find the hope and believe that we are indeed learning and wanting to change. We have to….. #illridewith you. If you haven’t heard of the hash tag please look it up. It only took one brave woman to stand up and her compassionate actions are now spreading throughout the world.