Second Time Mom

Dear Beautiful Mamma,

You remember back to your first pregnancy? How you followed every stage of your little beans growth? Peanut to avocado to football !

You made sure that you always ate well, stayed away from soft cheese and bean sprouts.

The book “What to expect when you’re expecting” was your bible. You went straight to the index to look up every twinge you felt.

You obeyed the rules and prepared your home, your life, your body, for this beautiful new being about to be placed into your eager arms. You even managed to put your feet up, rest and have time to read some books before the big day arrived.

And here you are now. A seasoned mother.

Your second baby on the way. This time it has been different. You have felt a little disconnected from the new soul blossoming within your rounded tummy.

You do not have the time to sit around reading all the books, noticing every little kick.

This time you are preoccupied with the child you already hold in your arms. You worry whether your heart can have room to love another child as much as you do your first.

You sometimes feel sad that it will no longer just be the three of you. How could you possibly give another child as much attention and love?

As time comes closer you start to think about getting things ready. You sort through the tiny clothes that had been packed away not so long ago. Feelings of excitement, mixed with sadness wash over you. Sadness at how fast time has flown by.

You feel like you have forgotten everything. You worry that you no longer remember how to care for a newborn. Their tiny hands curled up into fists. You are unsure if you remember how to unfurl those precious little fingers.

There-in lies the blessing of Motherhood.

Our worried anxious first time mother brain is taken over by an experienced one. A Mum who trusts her instincts more than the fumbling first time Mum you were a few short years before. You don’t need to keep going back to the books. They are only a distraction from the real teacher. Your heart and your own babies needs. You realise your baby is the one who will show you the way. You begin to follow their lead. You become better at seeing their cues of tiredness.

If you have to hold them all day it no longer is a big deal. You know that it is hearing your heartbeat that makes them feel safe.

Other people’s opinions and token advice become water off a duck’s back.

You have this !

There will be times when it all feels overwhelming. You remind yourself that every baby is an individual. What worked for one child may not work for another. That’s ok, nothing is ever set in stone on this parenting journey.

You will be amazed at how much love your heart can hold.

Your eldest will look so big now. That does not mean that they need you any less. At times the juggle will be stressful but you will get through it.

This time you can accept help much easier from those only too willing to be there for you.

You may, like many before feel sad for no reason. You may struggle with so much change. You know better now that there is no shame in asking for help.

Enjoy the ride !

It is crazy. there will be moments of complete insanity followed by moments of tender loving bliss. Take parenting each moment by each moment. Try to stay light and see the funny side. All that matters is that you take care of each other.

Focus on your heart.

Know that there is enough love within to care for all of you. Trust your incredible mothering instinct to guide you on this personal journey.

A journey that has no end but many many beginnings.

Love Love Love xxxxxxxx

What advice would you have for a second time Mum ?

Blogging with Essentially Jess today

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