Is there someone in your life who is bugging you lately?
You would like them to change a certain behaviour but every time you bring the subject up it ends up in an argument.
No relationship or friendship is perfect. We all know this. We go through ups and downs. I have recently learned a great lesson in finding that if I change my behaviour from being defensive and impatient to compassionate and calm. This positive behaviour will then have a domino effect and begin to heal the whole household.
Reacting with fire makes the fire that is already burning grow bigger.
You may voice or even shout your concerns and the person on the receiving end might decide to take on what you are saying. However it does not take long for the old default behaviour to kick in.
The rat wheel keeps turning around and around.
But what if, instead of nagging them and causing them to retreat even further.
What if you try and reflect the behaviour you yourself are needing back onto them?
What if you begin to treat them with more patience, understanding, kindness, compassion.
“Treat Others as you would want to be treated”
The truth is at times this is damn hard to put into practice, because the more a behaviour continues the more aggravated and impatient you become.
The only way to break the cycle is to wear someone else’s shoes.
Gradually you are able to let things go more. While there is no need to let people walk all over you there is always a calmer more patient way to speak to someone.
There will be times when you fly off the handle as you had previously done.
However the more you practice compassion the less you need to fight.
I keep the word in my head “Compassion, Compassion” when I am in the moment of confrontation. It helps keep me focused and calm. If this is not possible walking away is better than saying stuff that causes wounds.
Your compassionate behaviour will then be reflected back onto you.
Life will become slower and calmer.