Narcissism : “Excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and ones physical appearance.
Extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of ones own talents and a craving for admiration as a characterising personality type”.
Antonyms: Outgoing, Sacrificing, Unselfish.
I am sure you are more than aware of what a strange world we live in these days. We have our heads and minds stuck in screens. I was so fascinated with the movie Wall-E Have you seen it? Humans have evolved into blobs that float around on chairs staring at screens, robots feed us and clean us. We just sit there becoming more blobbish. Our bones begin to turn soft, our skeleton no longer able to support us.
With the exponential growth of our access to technology, we curate and we overshare much of our lives in this online yet imaginary world.
During this month of October I have signed up to take part in #froctober. This involves me aiming to wear a different dress every day and thus I must share my photo online every day.
While it is most enjoyable wearing a different dress ever day. Taking a picture of myself every day has sent my head into a spin.
Don’t get me wrong. When I get an email telling me someone has made a donation it is a wonderful feeling, one that makes it worthwhile. This is of course why I will commit to my fundraising for the next few weeks.
However it has caused me to question myself.
Why do I want to share pictures of myself online every day? Could I not have just donated myself and be done with it ?
Am I looking for approval? Am I looking for fans ? Am I ready to take criticism ? Am I a Narcissist ?
I think as humans we all have narcissistic tendencies.
By virtue of our nature we are flawed. We have a little thing called Ego. Ego likes to be rubbed rather than bruised.
However Ego is not always bad. It can be the fuel in our engines. It is the drive that helps us achieve. The knowing that we will get there in the end.
A successful life is of course about balance. The ego that grows too big can cause destruction to the “self”.
A diagnosed narcissist is not capable of self-reflection. They will deny their own flaws to the death. They will be unable to show compassion to others, even their own children.
Narcissism is a diagnosed mental disorder. It is not a word you should just throw around at people.
It is said that taking “selfies” is narcissistic.
I call bullshit.
We are human. We have flaws.
As long as we continue to strive to create positive change in our lives we are not narcissistic.
Everyone is on their own journey.
How wonderful is it that some decide to share their journey with others. This can help others in showing them that they are normal or make them feel less alone.
I have realised this month long journey is where I am supposed to be. Celebrating myself, feeling nice, connecting with others.
As my Mum said
” Be confident and Glow”
I recently found myself on the Instagram account of a beautiful young Irish girl. She lived in Hollywood. She was found dead in her apartment last week. It is believed she completed suicide.
The photos she shared were stunning. A beautiful young woman in her prime. A mix of “selfies” , nature and life. She shared her beautiful soul with the world wide web out there somewhere.
Why the hell shouldn’t she ?
Left behind now on her Instagram account are small snippets of her heart. Glimpses of her for others to see and no doubt miss. I think it is heartbreakingly beautiful, the digital footprint she has left behind.