Aren’t they just beautiful when they are asleep?
With their perfect skin and cherub lips. All snuggled up in their jammies. The youngest sucking on his doggy’s ear.
Yet in the morning I will be asking them 20 times to brush their teeth and find their left shoe. Isn’t life mental?
I have left behind me the baby phase. I love babies, such beautiful chubby beings. They have a knack however of sucking the life out of me. I am someone whom does not cope well with little or broken sleep. I turn into a mini basket case. I cry, I shout, I feel oh so guilty.
It is of course worth every second of the pain, but wow it feels good to be getting a full nights sleep again. Now I can climb the climbing frame with them and treat them to vanilla ice cream drizzled with honey before bed on an ordinary Thursday night. I have the energy to lie in their beds and snuggle them until they fall asleep.
If you are still knee deep in the baby phase give yourself a break please. For three, five, maybe eight years depending on how many times your brain allows you to forget and you decide to have another baby. None of the shit you worry about whether the house is clean or what the neighbours think will matter. So instead of breaking your milky boobs and dry stinging exhausted eyes to keep up with it all. Just stop, let the shit pile up.
Now that my two boys are older and more self sufficient life is busy in another way. You spend your days running from one place to another. Its tiring but nothing in comparison to trying to do it all when you have been up feeding the baby.
Today, my day off was insanely busy. The boys scooted to school at top speed while I tried to run along side with my five year old’s backpack jiggling on my back. We got to the school gate just as the bell went off. Rarely can we make it in time to enjoy the trip. Then the three year old refused to scoot home. He wanted to climb on the rocks and walls and the climbing frame. After much coaxing and pretending to be a cat we scooted back home. Well I pulled him up hills while he chilled out, both feet on his scooter. Then we had to jump in the car to go to swimming lessons. Where the 3 year old was able to start putting some practice into his future career as a Shark. Truly that is his career aspiration right now. I am most supportive of this of course, as I once wanted to be an actual swimming pool.
After a few splashes and baby jumps and blowing bubbles we had to rush to a doctors appointment for a mummy check up. Then we went to the supermarket to refill the stocks that dwindle so very quickly. There was a tantrum as I refused to buy a transformer for him. A new book was not cutting it this week. No I did not give in.
The ravenous rumblings in my tummy were making it hard to even carry my shopping into the house. I wolfed down (in secret) two packets of Irish Crisps “Taytos” to be exact. Wow they are yum but they really make your breath stink. As you can see, practicing very healthy mindful eating is what keeps me going. Then we had half an hour to cuddle on the couch before we had to get ready to pick the big boy up from school. Another rush to find parking and make it to the classroom door before he thinks he has been abandoned. Followed by big dash to swimming lessons for the 5 year old. Back home, dinner thrown together, fast cooked rice, fish fingers, fried egg. No gourmet meals on a Thursday night (if ever). Then stories and cuddles.
The dog then jumps up beside me on the couch for her cuddles.
Despite the chaos I think secretly I like it. I like the busyness. Having a purpose. Feeling like I have this down pat. Even though some days I might leave the front door wide open or forget I have placed my still hot from the oven honey spice cake on the roof of my car. Wow it smelled so good as the steam rose up from the tar -macadam of the main road..
Or the time I bashed my head off the corner of a dresser. I truly saw the most sparkly stars as I sat down holding my hands to my head in pain. I then feel wetness on my hands. Blood drips from my head. The contrast of the fresh blood against my white skin was quite startling I laughed and cried all at the same time. Laughing at the ridiculousness of it. I had just been speaking to my friend on the phone about how our bodies tell us when we need to slow down.
I have joined a Personal Training Group. Three nights a week I sweat and feel like I might faint or vomit or poo or something vile.
I love it though.
Cardio class is absolutely disgusting, seriously. Skipping and running and jumping who does that shit. You really think at the time this is hell I cant do it, this is too hard. Then you drive home and think, I loved it. I love getting sweaty and feeling like I really worked. So so good for your mind and your ability to cope with the everyday dramas.
Why is it though that after asking children 10 times if they need to use the toilet they say “Mummy I need to do a poo” just when you are about to go into the doctors office or you are miles from any toilet. Every damn time !
Its all good though. I really do not have any complaints. Life is ticking along and we are at last able to keep up.