Homesickness

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Hi

How are things ?

I hope you are well.

How has this past week gone for you?

I hope you have managed to find some time to do something for yourself, something that you love doing. Something for your soul only.

Once a month Mr D and I give each other a day off. A rostered day off parenting. Very organised I know but so far it has worked well. On this day you can do as you wish from 7 am until 11pm. I have had some nice days to myself. I have gone shopping, gone to the beach, gone on photography expeditions, met a friend for lunch, sometimes I go to the library to write.

On Saturday it was my day off, however I decided that what my soul needed more was to be with my family.

I have been living in Australia for almost 12 years. It’s quite a long time to be settled into a new country. However, every single time I have someone from home stay with me and then they leave I am literally struck down by a bad case of homesickness.

I have always found it hard to put those feelings into words. It’s a sense of loneliness that begins to creep into your heart like a thick morning fog. It’s a sense of being lost in the middle of a busy city, feeling like you have nobody to turn to even though people pour past you like a giant tsunami. Despite having wonderful and caring friends who fill my heart with their kindness I still have to wade through that thick soup of loneliness trying with all its might to congeal and anchor me on my lonely island.

One advantage of living away from my homeland for so long and having experienced home sickness so many times before is that I know what I need to do to feel better. I need to connect with my loved ones right here beside me. I need to tell Mr D exactly how I am feeling and take strength from his loving arms around me.

……And then there is the children they make it easier, taking care of children always pulls you out of yourself. They bring you a large dose of reality and drag you off that Island to live in their beautiful moments, whether it be wiping bums or snuggling them to sleep at night.

So that is why I decided that my day off from parenting was to be spent instead with my family so they could help mend my cracked heart.

On Saturday morning I dragged myself out of bed even though I really wanted to stay there and wallow. I told Mr D I needed to run this loneliness out of me. I put on my shorts and grabbed my headphones and took Rose our beloved dog to the beach for a run. I pressed play on my playlist “Bangin” the techno and tranzey tunes I never get to listen to anymore, my ‘block rocking banging beats’. I ran along the waters edge in my bare feet with the waves soothing my sole’s. I dodged dogs plodding along with their owners as they sip on their take away coffees.

I ran down the beach and turned around and ran back to the rocky groin. On my way back I  found my stride and and I began to enjoy the ride, the music. the bright sunny day and the waves, as my loneliness was dragged out to sea.

For the rest of the weekend we watched movies and the boys played lego. We all seemed content to be with each other for once.

On Sunday morning we packed the dog and boys and towels into the car and I once again returned to the beach. The boys ate hot cross buns with sandy hands and drank cups of warm Milo. While they explored a tiny cave I crept away to enjoy a quiet dip in the sea.

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Every time I get into water be it in the bath, shower, pool, lake or ocean I find it very hard to get back out. There is something about the pull of water that I find hard to ignore. As If I am the moon to the sea.

I floated on my back with my feet pointed towards Rottnest Island, I could see large ships in the distance waiting for their call into the increasingly small port of Fremantle. The urge to dive beneath became too much. The cool ocean streams rush past as I dive down. I love how the sound instantly changes with just a small dip beneath. You are literally transported to another world. A peaceful world. I could see the rays of sun filter through the water column bouncing off the grains of sand suspended in the pelagic zone.

I then relish in that post swim feel when your body tingles as you sit wrapped in a towel, such a satisfying feeling. It takes me back to eating crisp and cheese sandwiches after a freezing cold dip in the Irish sea.

During the week on my day off a friend came to visit me. She brought me a huge bunch of sunflowers. They made me cry.

Sunflowers are my favourite. A smile in a vase now sits upon my messy kitchen table.

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Excuse the Mess

 

We drank peppermint tea and ate hot cross buns and talked about life, while juggling the little ones. Every woman needs a day like that to get them through.

And so….. The circle continues. Life picks me up and carries me on its way to its usual unknown destination and I hang on tight

How about you?

6 thoughts on “Homesickness

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  1. Amazing writing Druime, hugs from a surprisingly sunny Ireland. Hope you’re all doing fab. Re: block rockin beats, I’d love to have a right dance off here or there anytime! take care, Em xxx

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